Something you should never ask

We were at a small local museum today and an older man noticed Little Man and Honeybun.  He asked if they were twins and then asked, "Did you cheat?"  I was taken aback and replied, "No."  I thought this would end our conversation.  I couldn't imagine that anyone would continue to question a complete stranger about how her children were conceived.  He followed up with, "So you just let Mother Nature take its course."  I moved us along as quickly as I could.

As I walked away I thought of all the things I could have said in reply.  A few of my options...

"Yes, I cheated.  I copied someone else's answers for the pregnancy test."

"They lived inside me for nine months, so no, I didn't cheat."

"Oh, so we're discussing personal health issues.  How's your prostate these days?"

And perhaps my husband's favorite, "Go f#@& yourself!"

I always thought the problem with these sorts of situations in life is that I am so shocked by the person's utter lack of respect and common decency that I am unable to come back with an appropriately affronted reply.  I try to end the conversation and remove myself (and my children) from the rude person as quickly as possible.

Looking back on it, though, I am glad I walked away with dignity.  First of all, his rudeness does not have to make me rude.  Secondly, there is no point in engaging someone who is displaying such poor social skills.  Thirdly, if he was clueless enough to ask such an inappropriate question, my profanity free responses might have sailed right over his head, and I don't curse out loud.  Finally (and most importantly), I don't want to place my children in a situation like that.  Leaving quickly was the best way for me to keep a rude, coarse and disrespectful person way from my impressionable little ones.

I do wish I had replied differently.  I am rehearsing my reply for future occasions. "That question is  inappropriate and rude.  Please leave us alone."  It communicates the person's breach of decent social conduct and allows me to end the encounter quickly.  

It is amazing, though.  Nobody would ask a person with one child which position they used to conceive, but plenty of people have no problem asking about my children's conception.  Twins are not public property, people!