Unexpected statements of parenting

There were some statements I anticipated uttering as a parent.  Things like: "No hitting!", "We don't throw our food," and "Yep, they're twins."  These days I find myself uttering more and more statements that I never expected to utter.  Here are a few...

To Little Man, while he 'helps' me do kitchen chores: "We don't sit on the dishwasher, buddy."

To Honeybun, at dinner: "Honey, pasta goes in our mouth, not our ears."

To my husband, after Honeybun bumped her head: "Which table did she hit... Oh she'll be fine."

To the helpful Target employee, while looking for a cart: "Thanks for looking, but this is a shop along cart.  I was looking for a shop along v2 cart."

To Little Man, while I am trying to prepare dinner: "Please don't shut your sister in the fridge."

To Honeybun, while she and Little Man are wrestling: "Don't tackle him too hard."

My husband to Honeybun, while Little Man was tickling her: "Be careful how you kick your brother."

To many curious people in public places: "Yes, one boy and one girl... No they're not identical twins."

And today's statement: "The blue crayon is not food, either." To Little Man, after he had sampled the purple and yellow crayons.

Babies making artwork for Daddy.